Cake as metaphor

 

I've returned to a world I do not recognize. There were several posts meant to describe how serious our global situation is and that without understanding it, we can't make necessary changes.

What's the use or the point?

I'm still dealing with long covsshh. After an appointment, I needed to pick up a few things; the only place in the vicinity an overpriced health food store, but I simply did not have the energy to get to and through the regular kind.

While looking for a few staples I'm starting to ignore the new vegan cold cuts and new choices that aren't. BUT. It was quiet. I could spend time reading labels and fine print. No hassle and bustle. Friendly customers, when I almost collided with another shopping cart, laughter about the right of way. No eye rolling or impatience. A father who was calm, while his little toddler girl was talking to yoghurt, instead of throwing a tantrum. No weirdos in the store. I spent a little extra time there because it was civilized. Normal.

The idea of cake as metaphor happened on my walk home. Imagine that the goal of global interaction is a perfect cake. Nuts and ingredients are perfectly distributed throughout. Every ingredient comes together to create a delicious whole. Every country gets an equal piece at the end, at which one is satiated and satisfied because it hit the spot perfectly.

Obviously, perfection doesn't exist.

How many of us need to be taught to stop eating cake batter as immature children? It requires an adult often an exasperated mother to come up with giving us a little bowl with batter in it. Or watching like hawks so we don't pull the cooling cake off the rack. If the cake is destroyed somehow, we start all over. With the same ingredients or new additions. Sometimes there's a natural disaster; the oven burnt it. Mistakes were made. And yet we continue to bake cakes. If a recipe doesn't work out, we find a new one just to keep baking cakes.

Global diplomacy is the same. Since the late 40s we've tried to get a great cake made. Treaties, tireless diplomacy, accepting lesser ingredients just to end up with a cake. Incremental because some want to eat the whole thing, others want the biggest slice. Some don't even want to contribute baking soda. Others contribute baking powder instead. Then real Vanilla is replaced with the synthetic kind. A neighbor refuses to give you a cup of flour. Someone picks out all the raisins and so on. The recipe keeps changing.

We ended up with a mess. Eventually, I hope, we'll get back to baking.

Aging is a state of mind

 

In my thirties, I decided that I was never going to "act" like a senior once I became one. Obviously, physical constraints permitting, I was not going to age gracefully. When there was a trend of forty is the new thirty, I thought that we are heading in the right direction. I am not a senior but it has been a long time since I have done something like sledding or snowball fighting with other adults. I am a goofball at home, but when did everyone get so serious? The last time I went impromptu sledding was when someone borrowed food trays from a cafeteria and down a hill we went. We were all laughing so hard, steering was optional.

I came across this video recently of two Canadian women trying out all winter Olympic sports with a good dose of humor.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LtwjMsJoOZc

When did life get so serious that one forgets to have that type of stress-relieving fun?

Netiquette on this blog

 This blog follows netiquette. Until I can phrase it myself. Here are some guidelines. I'm not a stickler on grammar, but will be strict on not permitting certain comments. They will be moderated. People have been pretty good on this blog, not so much on others. Respect eachother, communicate and/or discuss.

Obviously, repeat commenting is fine especially if one forgets to add something or within a conversation.

Not discussing politicians on this blog remains in place.

Clarifying will become especially important as AI is replacing our voices and words. 

I'm keeping this group small so that I can always comment back.

Added: Please note if you consider the mutual sharing of knowledgeable information, fact or opinion on art, literature and science as "condescending", this blog will not appeal to you.

Moments

 

I am calm by nature and calmed by it. In situations where there is nothing I can do about it I've never understood why people get aggravated. Traffic is one of them. Once it's clear that one is stuck in it, I have a good collection of music and sing myself through it.

In fact, I stopped car sharing because certain colleagues would bang on steering wheels, swearing. We won't get there any faster.

It snowed again. I stepped out to see if I was up for a walk. The sun was shining, it was beautiful. A person with issues was talking to me. I'm in a good mood, but was not in the mood for conversation. He was doing this to everyone who walked by. I decided to wait. By the time he was gone so was the sun.

A few hours later I stepped outside again. There was a little snow, about a foot, it was still coming down and it was so pretty that I simply took in this moment. Snowflakes reflecting lights. Fresh snow without tire marks. Calm and not windy. In the past I would have put on my snowboots and gone for an invigorating stomp.

Still dealing with long covsssh, so I enjoyed the moment. A father with his teenage daughters was walking by wanting to take a pic because it was so pretty. I hate snow one complained. This is sh..t the other agreed. Just enjoy it I thought. These moments are few and not that small.

Darwin had a bad day. Repeatedly.

 It took Darwin fifty years to think about the and publish the Origin of species. (1859). This is making the rounds in the science community.

Valentines, creativity and caring

 

Valentines is around the corner and to say I dislike it is an understatement. It is the least creative holiday and since I have a preference for certain colors and not others, the whole red and pink color scheme irritates me.

It also feels as if it's the one holiday we're marketing and design departments updated nothing in a century. The same trite be mine. Candy that tastes like baking soda and sugar in shades of pastel pink. Every year it looks the same as if there is some giant warehouse that carries decades old stock.

The whole concept is forced romance to me and since adolescence is already a confusing time listening to repetitive stories of romantic getaways with dinner and rose petals wasn't my idea of love.

At some point caring about friends became part of valentines and socially acceptable. One of my friends had gone through a bad breakup and no matter how I tried I couldn't get him to go out. Until valentines. It took me three hours until I convinced him. We'll go celebrate our friendship you can be depressed afterwards, I promised. I took him to a great place. we ate and by dessert and coffee he was happy. A great meal can do wonders even if it's just one evening.

Among my friends we did surprise care packages when someone was going through a rough time. A few years ago I walked by a high-school pre-final exams that had countless posters all over with Cheer messages on them. You can do this addressed to specific students. How neat.

Several years ago, on Pinterest I think, the trend of very creative cheer clothespins appeared. You surprise pin them on a backpack with words of encouragement. The creative trend of caring continues.

If kids and teens can figure out what people need and how to care about eachother, why can't adults?

Have you ever intervened?

 

There are lots of these bystander 
Intervention posters and courses.

Context

I do not wish to repeat myself or provide more than a brief summary, 

I stayed with my father when cov. hit. I knew what a pandemic plan was, knew what to do and waited for it to be implemented. Remember the masking and empty streets? I was also dealing with a loved parent with serious medical conditions that were well controlled with medication. Unfortunately, if he got upset it could kill him. The only way to calm him was for me to let him go through his tantrum while I left for a couple of hours. 

There was a park in the vicinity small but with benches and shade with a playground to one side. All the benches faced the playground so parents could chat and watch their kids. I'd often sat engaged in conversation, mostly about Cov. The people were scared wanted answers and explanations. I alleviated those fears.

During lock downs it became the place to get some air, stay within the geographic area, have lunch at 3pm, sketch a little. Make phone calls talk to my friends organize pharmacy deliveries find home care find open doctors offices, without being interrupted. Other people used the playground to do chinups or other exercises. For me it was sometimes the only place to get my to do list done. You get the idea.

I'm adding that everyone in the park was middle aged. Many fit and worked out. Mostly parents or babysitters (it changed over time) but many without kids just getting fresh air reading a book having lunch exercising.

Bad people:.

There was a couple in their early thirties. She had very long brown hair. Dressed in long, flowy dresses that reminded me of granny dresses. He had shaved the sides of his head, his bangs plastered down and to the side. The only thing missing was a .mustache. Even when mandatory they never wore a mask. So cliche. You also get the idea. They had a little blonde boy, maybe five.

No vaccines yet. Didn't want to bring anything home so as long as they stayed at a safe social distance...They must have overheard my science related conversations. Suddenly she approached me. "This is a private park. You don't belong here". She said. I ignored her. She was insistent. "It's a public park. Please wear a mask as mandated", I replied. She backed away. After they left a parent approached me telling me that what they'd done was inappropriate and weird.

Another day another encounter. This time:"This is a park for children. Where is your child?" They were trying to provoke me. I always wore a mask and I wouldn't engage with them. They always accosted me. I was sitting on my bench minding my own business.

Again. This time he wore a surplus army jacket. I noticed that the husband always stood by her side but never said anything. The little boy always played by himself.

Over the course of a year I started to notice that within half an hour of me arriving in the park so did they despite my irregular hours.

Again. I was in the middle of a conversation with my friend, who overheard when the wife approached me again. "Why are you here without a child?" I told her to stop insinuating and leave. My friend was baffled. We couldn't figure it out. The wife got aggressive. The park emptied quickly. Before I left too, I could see that the little boy was on one of those rocking horses. The mother self satisfied. The little park was theirs. The other parents continued playtime outside the park. One approached me. "They've been a problem for a while. The little boy doesnt play with any of the other kids not even in the sandbox. He pushes the kids aside when he wants to use the slide and they all wait in line". "Why didn't you say something. Intervene? They would have stopped." I replied.

She was embarrassed.

On my way home I called the cops. They advised me on what to do.

Another day. This time the wife ran up to me. Again something about children. The wife was aggressive. Then as she walked toward me: "You and your spouse probably cant have children". I laughed. She got close and took a pic. "I do not consent to having my picture taken remove it." I stood up angry. She took another one. I repeated myself louder and clearer. She ran back to her husband. "Remove the pic!" I yelled across the park. Then I called the cops.

Luckily, I knew him. Even better he knew the law as did I. The cops couldn't do much previously because they were in the grey area of the law. They were well trained by whatever group they belonged to. She had tried to get me riled up. It had not worked.

This was a circumstance where she couldn't take my image without consent and I made that very clear. Now, they could be charged. This whole time I didn't know if they were dangerous. I was all my dad had. I couldn't risk getting hurt. 

I explained and answered questions to the cop, they were on the way. To ensure my safety while I was on the phone with them, I yelled at the couple: "I warned you. Cops are on the way. I'm talking to them right now." The couple quickly gathered their son, even left behind their sons pedaled car and took off.

The behavior made more sense, they had prior run ins. I never saw them again. The experience changed me. I will never forgive the people who stood by and didn't say anything, but wasted my time asking me cov questions when they were scared.

Bystander Intervention courses are available everywhere. Most are free. They train and teach what to do if you see something or if it happens to you. It's very useful. I stayed calm as a result of the training. One option of intervention is to get to a safe distance and call the cops.