Have you ever intervened?

 

There are lots of these bystander 
Intervention posters and courses.

Context

I do not wish to repeat myself or provide more than a brief summary, 

I stayed with my father when cov. hit. I knew what a pandemic plan was, knew what to do and waited for it to be implemented. Remember the masking and empty streets? I was also dealing with a loved parent with serious medical conditions that were well controlled with medication. Unfortunately, if he got upset it could kill him. The only way to calm him was for me to let him go through his tantrum while I left for a couple of hours. 

There was a park in the vicinity small but with benches and shade with a playground to one side. All the benches faced the playground so parents could chat and watch their kids. I'd often sat engaged in conversation, mostly about Cov. The people were scared wanted answers and explanations. I alleviated those fears.

During lock downs it became the place to get some air, stay within the geographic area, have lunch at 3pm, sketch a little. Make phone calls talk to my friends organize pharmacy deliveries find home care find open doctors offices, without being interrupted. Other people used the playground to do chinups or other exercises. For me it was sometimes the only place to get my to do list done. You get the idea.

I'm adding that everyone in the park was middle aged. Many fit and worked out. Mostly parents or babysitters (it changed over time) but many without kids just getting fresh air reading a book having lunch exercising.

Bad people:.

There was a couple in their early thirties. She had very long brown hair. Dressed in long, flowy dresses that reminded me of granny dresses. He had shaved the sides of his head, his bangs plastered down and to the side. The only thing missing was a .mustache. Even when mandatory they never wore a mask. So cliche. You also get the idea. They had a little blonde boy, maybe five.

No vaccines yet. Didn't want to bring anything home so as long as they stayed at a safe social distance...They must have overheard my science related conversations. Suddenly she approached me. "This is a private park. You don't belong here". She said. I ignored her. She was insistent. "It's a public park. Please wear a mask as mandated", I replied. She backed away. After they left a parent approached me telling me that what they'd done was inappropriate and weird.

Another day another encounter. This time:"This is a park for children. Where is your child?" They were trying to provoke me. I always wore a mask and I wouldn't engage with them. They always accosted me. I was sitting on my bench minding my own business.

Again. This time he wore a surplus army jacket. I noticed that the husband always stood by her side but never said anything. The little boy always played by himself.

Over the course of a year I started to notice that within half an hour of me arriving in the park so did they despite my irregular hours.

Again. I was in the middle of a conversation with my friend, who overheard when the wife approached me again. "Why are you here without a child?" I told her to stop insinuating and leave. My friend was baffled. We couldn't figure it out. The wife got aggressive. The park emptied quickly. Before I left too, I could see that the little boy was on one of those rocking horses. The mother self satisfied. The little park was theirs. The other parents continued playtime outside the park. One approached me. "They've been a problem for a while. The little boy doesnt play with any of the other kids not even in the sandbox. He pushes the kids aside when he wants to use the slide and they all wait in line". "Why didn't you say something. Intervene? They would have stopped." I replied.

She was embarrassed.

On my way home I called the cops. They advised me on what to do.

Another day. This time the wife ran up to me. Again something about children. The wife was aggressive. Then as she walked toward me: "You and your spouse probably cant have children". I laughed. She got close and took a pic. "I do not consent to having my picture taken remove it." I stood up angry. She took another one. I repeated myself louder and clearer. She ran back to her husband. "Remove the pic!" I yelled across the park. Then I called the cops.

Luckily, I knew him. Even better he knew the law as did I. The cops couldn't do much previously because they were in the grey area of the law. They were well trained by whatever group they belonged to. She had tried to get me riled up. It had not worked.

This was a circumstance where she couldn't take my image without consent and I made that very clear. Now, they could be charged. This whole time I didn't know if they were dangerous. I was all my dad had. I couldn't risk getting hurt. 

I explained and answered questions to the cop, they were on the way. To ensure my safety while I was on the phone with them, I yelled at the couple: "I warned you. Cops are on the way. I'm talking to them right now." The couple quickly gathered their son, even left behind their sons pedaled car and took off.

The behavior made more sense, they had prior run ins. I never saw them again. The experience changed me. I will never forgive the people who stood by and didn't say anything, but wasted my time asking me cov questions when they were scared.

Bystander Intervention courses are available everywhere. Most are free. They train and teach what to do if you see something or if it happens to you. It's very useful. I stayed calm as a result of the training. One option of intervention is to get to a safe distance and call the cops.